


Silent Soldiers

by speakingofalice



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Raphael language, Silence, Starvation, warning for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 05:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3557402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speakingofalice/pseuds/speakingofalice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do not talk. Do not eat. Stay silent and starve. There is no way out. There has to be a way out. It was supposed to be a normal training run… yeah, right. </p><p>A starving, bone thin and weary Leonardo looked over at a silent Raphael, "I will not let us die in here."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silent Soldiers

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, what am I doing!? I already have three unfinished fics already! I should be working on those! But, I was sitting at a poetry reading last week and this came to me and I had to get it out. Hope you like it and don't worry, updates for my other works are on the way.

 

The sun had yet to light the sky but that did not matter to the two turtles who were gearing up to venture Topside. The Lair was quiet save for the two with everyone else sleeping soundly. It was too early in the morning for any good T.V shows to run or for experiments to be tested. The morning mail had yet to be placed into their box. The birds were not singing, the sky was not blue, it was too early for those things.

"Got the black bandanna?" asked Leonardo as he strapped his swords to his back and tugged on the straps to ensure they were tight. He knew the leather was starting to wear near his shoulder and down by his belt – he would need to patch those places again soon. But for now the strap held solid and he would make due.

"Yeah, yeah I got it don't worry. I always got the band," Raphael growled from where he was fastening his sai's to his own belt. He was going to be using his second set of weapons since they were never used and the grip wasn't where he wanted it to be. He flips the sai around in his three fingered grip a few times before shoving them into his belt. They felt new in his hands even though they were just as old as his other pair. These had seen less blood and while he was fine with never having to draw blood with these weapons the hazard came with the job. They had to protect those who needed protecting from the evils that roamed the streets of New York City. They had turf and they had to defend it. Raphael scratched his bulging bicep and held back a yawn as he checked over the other weapons in his belt and hidden behind his shell.

"I may have been born at night, Leo, but it wasn't last night." He grumbled. Leonardo shook his head walking towards the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast before their early morning training game.

"Come on bro, skip breakfast and let's  _go_ ," Raphael certainly didn't whine but it was a close thing. He was already jumping and hopping from foot to foot in anticipation. This was what they did every Wednesday morning and he was excited to kick Leonardo's ass in some blind Ninja Tag. Leonardo rolled his eyes turning away from the kitchen and the toast he was thinking of making for himself, he too wanted to get going and besides, he would have breakfast when they returned in a few hours. Together the two brothers walked to the opening of the Lair.

"Are you sure we shouldn't ask the others if they want to come again? I'm sure they would– "

"Leo," Raphael said punching in the code for the large door to begin to creek open. "Mike said they both wanted ta sleep in ta'day an if they don't wanna play then they don't gotta. Come on, it's already  _four thirty_ , we were supposed to start already!"

"Fine fine," Leonardo relented raising his hands in surrender. "Don't get your shell in a twist." Then the two started walking side by side out the Lair door.

Outside their warm home there was a slight chill in the air, but that was expected. Raphael practically buzzed next to Leonardo as he forced himself to walk the same pace as the turtle to his right. He was so ready to kick some ass. Leonardo might have been the winner last week but that was just a technicality. Now that it was just the two of them Raphael was sure he would win.

"So…" Leonardo turned his head to his younger brother when they were far enough away from the Lair to not wake their family. He bit the side of his cheek and shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Last one Topside was hatched from a rotten egg?" And he was off sprinting down the slimy tunnel that he knew like the back of his hand leaving the hothead in his dust.

"Okay  _Mikey_ , very original!" Raphael teased pumping his feet forward to catch up to his faster brother with a shit eating grin plastered across his face. They ran fast with quick feet and long strides dodging over debris and jumping across small rivers of sewer water. A few times there was a stumble but both quickly corrected themselves and moved on. Once or twice someone's elbow came up to a face with a hard – no doubt unintended – jab but it was just as quickly blocked and retaliated against. They ran until the ladder rungs to the manhole they needed came into view then they ran faster.

Leonardo took a running jump while Raphael slid towards the ladder. Raphael powered up the metal while Leonardo hoisted himself and by the time they reached the top it was Leonardo in front pushing the manhole cover aside with a victorious smirk on his face. He jumped from the sewer and stood while Raphael angrily pushed himself out of the manhole.

"You cheated," Raphael accused with a shadow on his face.

"You elbowed me in the face!" Leonardo whined rubbing the sore area.

"You tried to trip me going around that second bend," Raphael huffed.

"Only because your clodhopper foot went under mine," Leonardo said setting his hands on his hips.

"Brown-noser."

"Hothead."

The two stared at each other for a long minute before the frown on Raphael's face broke into a small grin and Leonardo huffed out a laugh.

"Good race, bro," Raphael said before turning around to ascend towards the roofs.

Their brotherhood was not one of peace but the two of them seemed to be less at odds since Master Splinter passed the winter before. It had been a long, cold winter and the old rat's body just could not handle it. He contracted what Donatello had called a bad case of Pneumonia and mixed with his old age he didn't have much strength to fight it off. They buried him under the willow tree at Casey's grandmother's farmhouse with a small white cross and his cane sitting atop. It was a beautiful service.

It had been rough, those first few months without their father. It was like they were newborns again just learning how the world worked. Leonardo had to shed some of his duties onto Raphael so he could handle some of the things Splinter had left for him. With the new found power of Leonardo's duties, Raphael quickly learned that being the leader wasn't really all he thought it would be and gladly gave the title back to his brother when he finished with the funeral arrangements and clearing out Splinter's room to decide what should stay, what should be buried with him and what needed to be thrown out. The hardest thing was going through his old scrolls of parchment paper and seeing the detailed drawings Splinter had done of the brothers while they were growing up before cameras and photographs. Before Donatello could create phones with a clickable camera that could snap a picture in a second and April could buy them ink to print the pictures to keep forever. Before they knew they could even have human friends without their cover being blown and them ending up as some specimen in a lab somewhere in Jersey.

Since Master Splinter's death Raphael had reigned in some of his anger, though it was still there ready to be yelled and cursed out. Leonardo had loosened a bit how he led his brothers. Michelangelo had become a bit more mature while Donatello spent just a little more time outside his lab and with his brothers. The death of their father, while terrible and heartbreaking, had brought them all closer together.

"Alright," Leonardo said when they reached the rooftop. "I think we should start out with a simple run then start our game all the way down at Seventy-Eighth Avenue, that way we can make the turn there and play on the way back."

"You think Seventy-Eighth too far?" Raphael asked securely tying the black bandanna to his wrist. Leonardo nodded.

"Shouldn't be. It'll take about two hours to jog there by roof so if we make that turn to come back we should be back in time for Mike's breakfast."

"Damn Leo, are we plannin' on runnin' that far today? I thought we were just playing blind Ninja Tag."

"We are," Leonardo smiled starting to jog to the next roof top. "But we need to get a little work out in first. Is that pudge I see on your sides?"

"It's love handles," Raphael shot back jogging after his brother.

The morning was a cold one but after a few miles both brothers warmed up as a sheet of sweat covered their bodies. The sun was starting to rise off to their right and it was a beautiful sight to see. It was still too early for the hustle and bustle of the NYC to begin so it was peaceful as they ran without having to worry about people looking out their windows at the wrong time to catch a glimpse of them or hear the patter of their feet on their roof.

Perhaps the fact that they were so laid back and holding quiet conversation was why Leonardo did not sense the small dart coming straight for his exposed neck. One moment Raphael was running slightly in front of his brother and the next he heard a thud and looked behind him to see his bother on all fours a whole rooftop away. Raphael doubled back not noticing the man a few roofs away covered in shadows.

"What? You fall or something?" Raphael said when he got closer. Leonardo groaned as he grabbed at something on his neck and pulled it out. Raphael's heart started to beat faster in his chest as he saw what was in his brother's hand. "Leo?"

"Run," Leonardo managed to choke out before listing to the side and falling. Raphael yelled and bent down to grab for him just as something sharp hit his shoulder. He hissed as the dart started stinging his entire arm. He tried to fight through it, to pick up his brother and get them the hell out of there but the poison was too fast, too strong. Beside Leonardo, Raphael fell to his knees then to his chest. The last thing he saw before his eyes closed was booted feet slowly walking towards him.

* * *

Raphael opened his eyes slowly. He was disorientated and felt nauseous. Beside him he heard a rustle and turned his head but he deeply regretted it as bile lifted in his stomach. Leonardo was on his feet next to him staring at something on his neck. Without a word, Raphael felt something shift around his throat. He moved his hand to reach it but stopped as he saw his brother move next to him. Raphael looked to Leonardo who looked down at himself. A metal band wrapped around Leonardo's chest and shell. The front of the band that protruded from his chest gave off a green light that was dim but noticeable. Leonardo stared down at it for a second before moving his hands to attempt to pry the metal from around his chest. As soon as one of his three fingers took hold of the three inch thick metal band Raphael cried out. It was an awful sound, one Leonardo had only heard once maybe twice in his lifetime. Raphael fell back his hands going to the same band around his throat. When his own fingers brushed against the band Leonardo screamed as his band tightened around his shell and chest. He swayed dangerously as he saw stars appear in his vision. Air that had once been so easy to pull into his chest he now fought for. He couldn't breathe as the band got tighter and tighter.

Leonardo knew his shell was about to crack. Tears rushed to his eyes and he couldn't help but shed them. The pain was so great, too great. He was going to suffocate. His shell was going to break. He was going to die. He looked over at his brother who was shivering on the ground noticing his hands still wrapped around the band on his neck. In one final effort before his lungs collapsed on him Leonardo lunged forward with both arms out.

"Ra-" was all he could get out using all of his strength to pry his brothers hands from the band. Raphael looked at him with huge, glassy eyes when his hand fell away from the band and Leonardo could feel the second they did. The band around his chest gave way slowly but fast enough so he could take in a drag of air. He gasped in a gulp of air so hard it burned his throat causing rough coughs to rack his chest. With a push from the ground Leonardo maneuvered himself so he was on his back gasping for air.

"Don't..." He started before giving two or three more hearty coughs. "Don't touch... the bands... Please."

Raphael nodded gruffly, his body spazzing and twitching sporadically.

"It shocked me so fuck– " He started but stopped when Leonardo cried out, the air being forced from his lungs as the band once again tightened hard around his chest and shell. It was harder this time as the band got smaller and smaller. Raphael's eyes bulged out and he skittered towards his brother his hands out staying far away from the metal collar around his neck. He grabbed onto the band around Leonardo's chest trying to pry it off, to work his way under the metal, anything. His older brother tried to fold in on himself but Raphael kept him flat on his back.

"Leo-Leo, I didn't touch the collar– "

Leonardo could practically feel each word that left Raphael's mouth as it was punctuated with the tightening of the band. "Leo, bro, what the shell –"

"S-Stop," Leonardo couldn't get enough words to form from the lack of air in his chest. Usually turtles were good about holding their breath but it was the squeezing, the yanking, the constricting like a snake around his chest that made it so incredibly painful. Leonardo didn't understand fully why he had asked his brother to stop talking. Maybe it was because between the constricting and the sound of his cracking shell mixed with his own groans of pain the extra noise of Raphael's cursing felt like pins going into his ears.

Raphael's mouth slammed shut with an audible click and with it almost instantaneously the band stopped its tightening. It loosened, slowly but surely until the band was where it started. Leonardo sucked in a hard breath arching off the ground in the process. He coughed and gagged until bile threatened his throat and he forced himself to swallow it back down. When he had gotten himself back under control he leaned heavily on his arms to help hoist himself back into a sitting position. Once done, he laid his back on the cold concrete wall. Something moved on his side painfully making him shiver.

"I think I... I think I broke a rib." He said breathing lightly fingering his side just below the band. Raphael stayed on the other side of the concrete cell.

"Leo, I-"

"Ahhh!" Leonardo had tried to hold back his groan but it shredded from his mouth as the band constricted hard around him. His broken ribs protested the most with his cracked shell coming in at a close second. Raphael stopped, open mouthed and with bulging eyes. As soon as it had started the squeezing stopped before lightening, going back to its original size around him.

Leonardo took slow gulps of hair that swayed his body back and forth. His eyes rolled to the back of his head once, twice, three times. Raphael feared he would pass out. The blue banded turned laying his head back against the wall, sweat dropped from his forehead and down the back of his neck.

The world around him started to blur and suddenly he felt weightless until he hit something warm and hard. Raphael had moved quick seeing his brother start to slide down the side of the wall. He was sure he was going to hit his head on the ground so he jumped forward slightly scared that touching his older brother would set off not just his band but Leonardo's as well.

Luckily, nothing happened and so he carefully set his brother against his chest just like Leonardo used to do to him when they were children and Raphael would have a nightmare and slip into his bed. They would sit for hours with Leonardo's wrapped arms protectively around his shoulders and shell and talk or sit in silence until Raphael calmed down. They used to be so small that sitting like that was easy, comfortable even. But then their bodies had changed. Raphael especially bulked so it wasn't as easy for Leonardo to slip his arms around his brother to help him fight off the nightmares. They had also grown older. Raphael wasn't quite sure when their nights spent in comfortable silence and protective embraces had stopped. Maybe it was when Splinter had deemed Leonardo the leader of their Clan and Raphael had decided he didn't like that. Maybe it was when training and leadership and pride and anger had all of the sudden become more important than quiet nights of whispers saying everything would be okay. Maybe they stopped being so brotherly when Raphael had dictated that only babies needed coddling and he was no baby. He was a man and he could take care of himself and his family. Raphael swallowed looking down at Leonardo who was slowing coming back to himself.

"I think... I think you should..." Leonardo stopped to cough then catch his breath before continuing on. "I think you shouldn't talk, Raphie. Just until we can get these things... off."

Above him Raphael silently nodded holding onto Leonardo a little tighter.

After laying in the same position for a while Leonardo was set to the side carefully to let Raphael up to his feet to get a look around. Their cell was solid stone and concrete with one window that let in a small square of light. But the window was too small and too far up to really do anything with. Thick bars and the smallness of the window made it utterly inescapable. That was not even counting the fact that it was so high off the ground Raphael couldn't even reach it when he jumped. Not without a hand hold which the smooth wall yielded none.

They had both been stripped of their weapons and gear and left with only their colored bandannas wrapped around their eyes.

The ground had straw and dirt settled around in small piles that were randomly peppered with tiny pebbles. There wasn't enough straw or dirt to make comfortable bedding even after Raphael kicked it all into a pile and that made the red turtle frown. On the adjacent wall, just as high as the window, was an opening about a meter in width and running along the distance of the wall. It looked just big enough for someone to crawl in, or for two turtles to be rolled through. Raphael's right shoulder throbbed in sympathy for the fall both he and his older brother had taken when they'd been put in here. He didn't remember anything after the stinging in his arm while they were running but that opening being the only opening in the room he guessed that was where their captors had brought them in. He must have landed hard on his side.

The opening was all dark not giving away anything even when Raphael backed up as far as he could. Nothing. Darkness. Raphael continued his search. Their cell was about ten paces long and nine paces wide and for that Raphael was grateful. He knew he called Leonardo  _Fearless_  all the time but there were certain things that he also knew gave his brother pause even though Leonardo would never admit to them. Raphael was only aware of two things that frightened his older brother enough to make his hands shake and his voice stutter and wobble, though in the fallout of Master Splinter's death he figured there were many more.

The first was heights. Splinter had helped him with that as children by forcing him to overcome his fear of high places but Raphael knew that there would always be a place inside Leonardo that forced him to bite back the churning in his stomach while he looked down a great height.

The second fear, the one that only Raphael knew about - he was sure Leonardo hadn't told their other brothers about it - was that Leonardo was afraid of small spaces. Claustrophobic. He loved the shadows, that everyone knew, but he didn't like complete darkness combined with small airless spaces. It was strange, Raphael had often thought, a  _ninja_  afraid of  _darkness_? But he'd never poked fun at that particular weakness of his brother's knowing full well that Leonardo had an arsenal of things that Raphael was afraid of that he could pull out at any moment though he doubted his brother ever would. He was too good for that.

Raphael cursed in his head as he slid down the wall once more after taking a running start towards the window.

"You're not going to reach it, Monkey Man," Leonardo let off a small smile between breaths. His legs were out in front of him with his arms locked keeping him from falling to the side again. Raphael opened his mouth to snap a retort but stopped when he realized any noise from him would just cause his brother more pain.

The blue turtle chuckled lightly before he put one hand on the wall to help him to his feet. His ribs hurt and flared when he moved but he had broken bones before, this wasn't even terrible by his standards. Making his way over to his brother, Leonardo put a hand on his shoulder and looked up at the other side of their cell where the strange opening was. His face remind neutral but Raphael could practically see the gears cranking hard.

"Looks like its one way in and one way out."

* * *

A stomach growled loudly and Leonardo looked over at his brother who was reclined against the wall staring up at the dimming window. It had been hours since they'd woken up in the cell and the light was finally getting dimmer. Leonardo didn't think the light coming from the window was real sunlight however, because it didn't glow orange or soft yellow as it started dimming. Raphael opened his eyes to look back at him and shrugged when he commented on the light then rubbed his stomach showing that he was hungry. Leonardo nodded in understanding, he too was hungry. They had both left so early in the morning without getting breakfast and last night had been leftover pizza night so not much nutrients had been stored. That combined with the fact that their metabolisms were ridiculously fast on account of how hard they trained and just being mutants. The four turtles ate all the time, Michelangelo especially. Leonardo didn't know if it was because he was the youngest or because he just liked eating but the orange turtle seemed to always have some type of food in his hand or someplace close.

"I'm hungry too," Leonardo said listening as his voice was sucked into the walls. It was so quiet, not even any echoes reverberated off the walls. It was eerie. Leonardo looked over at Raphael who had begun to flick small pebbles across the floor absently. The pebbles and rocks skidded across the floor until smacking into the wall.

* * *

"Do you know how long I've wanted you to not be able to speak?" Leonardo says with a small smile on his face that doesn't quite reach his eyes. The room was completely dark with whatever was supplying their light finally shut off. Now the room was not only cold and silent but also dark. Leonardo shuttered again but plastered a smile on his face as he knew Raphael could see if he focused hard enough.

"When we were kids I wanted to put tape over your mouth all the time to shut you up." Raphael looked over at his brother who was just out of reach and laid his head against the cold wall. The red turtle was pretty sure it was the other way around and it was he who had wanted tape to ensure his older brother's mouth stayed shut. Leonardo looked up at the ceiling just being able to see the outline of the window that was above either of their reaches.

"Then when we got older and Master Splinter made me the Leader I thought I would never hear the end of it from you. It was always this or that or you were angry all the time. We used to get in fights all the time, remember? And they would only end with you running off or me walking away or Don getting between us or - remember that one time Master Splinter had get between us and we were punished for, like, days? That was awful…" Leonardo kept talking and Raphael kept listening until his older brothers voice cracked with fatigue and Raphael drew close to him. That night they lay close with both of their eyes closed but neither of them sleeping.

* * *

It was late afternoon - or at least that's what Leonardo's internal clock told him - four days later before anything was heard outside their cell. In the last four days both brothers had sat around trying to keep themselves occupied while also looking for anything they could use to escape their prison. There was nothing. No cracks in the walls. No handholds near the window. No way to get out of the window even after Raphael hoisted Leonardo up on his shoulders to see outside of it. There wasn't even anything beyond the window, just another cement room with a bigger window with thicker bars that more light bore through. When the brothers had done the same with the opening Leonardo had only a split second to dodge a heavy metal rod that charged from the dark opening. The tip of the rod barely touched the blue turtle's shoulder but even with the light caress it shocked him hard enough for his legs to buckle forcing him to tumble ungracefully onto Raphael who let out a harsh breath as the air left his lungs in a  _whoosh_.

"At least we know we aren't alone," Leonardo had said when Raphael had caught his breath and he had gained feeling back into his body.

It had been a long four days. Raphael had taken to scowling at the cement opening while cracking his knuckles and wrists. He did it often until Leonardo had finally snapped and told him to stop it. Raphael had shook his head in disgust, angry that he couldn't even speak. He had opened his mouth to tell the blue turtle where he could shove it but stopped when Leonardo's eyes had grown large. He might've been angry but he wasn't stupid. He didn't want to cause the older turtle any more pain than necessary. He just wished they could get some food. Anything would be nice at this point.

Something above them sounded. It was loud, like something being dropped and scattering over the ground. The crash had come from the opening. Leonardo stood up slowly from the ground and placed himself between Raphael and the opening. He didn't have any weapons and was a little shaky from hunger but he wouldn't let anyone hurt his brother.

Suddenly something was kicked from the opening right to Leonardo. He body was sluggish but his muscles were trained and he caught the items automatically. Raphael jumped up next to his brother and they both looked up at the opening for a long moment until they came to the conclusion that nothing else was being thrown down. Leonardo looked down at what he had caught and let out a breath while his stomach growled loudly, but not as loudly as Raphael's did as his eyes swept across the meat and cheese sandwich wrapped in plastic wrap in one hand and water bottle still sealed in the other. Raphael smiled as he looked down at the food then opened his mouth to say something, caught himself, closed his mouth and continued smiling. They had food. The finally had food! Leonardo sat down quickly and placed their bounty on the floor after Raphael had used his foot to dust away all the dirt and rocks. He handed the water bottle to Raphael.

"Drink," he ordered to which Raphael nodded and cracked the plastic bottle open. The red turtle wanted to say  _thanks_ but, as they had figured out yesterday, even mouthing words or whispering them caused the band around Leonardo's chest to tighten. So instead Raphael put his hand to his chin and moved his arm out and down in a silent thank you in sign language. It was really all he knew. Leonardo knew some words but not enough to have a full conversation and besides, it was too hard to do with only three thick fingers when it was designed for humans with five skinny ones. Raphael took one chug, then two from the bottle in his hands. The water felt like heaven as the wetness soothed his parched throat and dry mouth. He was careful not to let any drops spill down his chin, they needed all they could get.

Carefully, as to not to have the small sandwich touch the dirty floor, Leonardo opened the packaging and laid it out. "I think you should take a bite then I will and we'll just go back and forth. I can't cut it and my hands are so dirty I shouldn't touch the whole thing." Raphael nodded but pointed to the bread and then to his brother as if to say  _you first_. Leonardo shook his head then scooted the food towards his brother and forced a smile on his face.

"You first," the Leader whispered. Raphael scowled but reached down and took a bite.

The sandwich was bland, old and possibly moldy but it tasted like gold. He chewed slowly and swallowed then gave it to his brother. Leonardo took a hold of the food and brought it to his mouth. The bread touched his lips and he was just about to bite down when Raphael twitched back hard then screamed making the band on Leonardo's chest constrict. He ignored it as it was only a small tightening but threw the sandwich down and slid over to his brother who was on his shell shaking. He touched Raphael but jumped back as a shock danced across his skin from his brother.

As soon as the shocking started it was over and Raphael was left panting on the ground twitching his muscles every few seconds. Slowly Leonardo put his hand on Raphael's chest and sighed looking down at his brother. Tears escaped Raphael's eyes to run down his cheeks and splash the ground. Leonardo turned back to the food and drink. He picked up the water bottle and put it to Raphael's lips. The younger brother opened his mouth to welcome the cool drink. He swallowed greedily until the bottle was empty and Leonardo drew it away from his mouth. Raphael was still breathless as he opened his eyes. Everything was blurry at first before his eyes adjusted to Leonardo sitting on his knees in front of him holding the empty water bottle. It wasn't until Raphael laid eyes on the bottle that it occurred to him that he'd drank all their water.

 _Shit_ , he cursed silently wanting nothing more than to smack himself in the face. He tried to move, to get his legs and arms under himself to sit up but nothing worked. The electricity that had shot from his collar had left him feeling like watery pudding. Everything ached from the bottoms of his feet to the back of his head where he'd smacked it against the wall when he fell. He had been shocked many time in his life whether it had been helping Don fix their lighting in the Lair or just him plugging something in to a faulty outlet in his room but nothing could compare to the voltage sent from the collar.

Leonardo moved back to grab for the food then crawled around until he sat behind his younger brother. With light hands that were somewhat shaky Leonardo lifted his head off the ground and placed it gently into his lap being mindful of his collar.

It took a while but finally Raphael had gained enough energy to sit up on his own, though his arms shook hard as they supported his weight. Leonardo had to help him sit back against the wall. The blue turtle then silently offered the rest of the food to his brother. Raphael shook his head then pointed to Leonardo. Leonardo smiled at his little brother, "I don't think that's a good idea." Then offered the food again which Raphael took, the hunger pains in his belly winning out.

Raphael took a bite of the sandwich and Leonardo smiled ignoring his own stabs of hunger that assaulted his belly. He had gone hungry before, he could go hungry now if it meant making sure that Raphael wouldn't be hurt again.

* * *

_Clink_!

A rock hit the far wall away from where Raphael sat and Leonardo laid. He felt so weak that even sitting up made him dizzy.

 _Chink_!

Another rock ricocheted off the wall from where Raphael had flicked it, Leonardo looked over at his brother with sad eyes that were glassy and puffy. His internal clock, though it was starting to falter, told him that it had been at least two weeks since they had been thrown in this cement cell. No demands had been made of them in the past two weeks, they hadn't even seen their captors other than when someone threw food down into their cell. Now it was just a bottle of water and a small loaf of hard bread. If Leonardo was right today was the day that they would be fed, or at least Raphael would eat and he could get something to drink.

The metal bands around their chest and neck held tight to their skin, not matter what either of them did they just didn't budge. Raphael still shocked himself from time to time when he would accidentally touch his collar. Whenever he would open his mouth or make a sound - grunt even, Leonardo would try to bite back his howl of pain as the band wrapped around his plastron constricted. He knew his shell was cracked and he thought that he might have an infection starting near his right side where the worst crack was but he wasn't sure. Raphael had tried to take a look at it but his hand had been batted away and Leonardo had laid back, injured side faced away from his brother.

"It would be easier if we knew what they wanted…" Leonardo said absently to himself. Raphael looked over at him and nodded slowly. He too was feeling the weakness of hunger pull at his muscles. Turtles could go weeks, even months without a proper meal but since they weren't fully turtles but mutants they couldn't go quite that long. Longer than a regular human but defiantly not more than a month without food.

As if on some type of morbid schedule a wrapped piece of bread and a bottle of water was thrown into their cell, Leonardo did not even attempt to catch the food or drink and instead let them fall unceremoniously to the floor. The older turtle stared at the bread with a watering mouth and half lidded eyes. He was so hungry his stomach felt like it was eating itself. There wasn't even any sound coming from his belly anymore, just twists and pains. Last night his stomach had cramped so badly that the pain felt like it moved all the way from the bottom of his chest to his knees. He had just laid in the corner with whimpers escaping his mouth. Raphael had sat next to him, silent and rubbing his sweaty forehead. There was nothing he could do. There was nothing either of them could do. They were stuck like rats in a cage. Turtles in a box.

"Go on," Leonardo said after a few minutes. He tore his eyes away from the food with difficulty. "Eat your dinner and imagine it's pizza."

Raphael glared at him and crossed his arms jutting out his bottom lip. Leonardo rolled his head around to look at his brother and let off a small laugh. Of course Raphael was being difficult. Of course he would refuse to eat.

 _You don't eat, I don't eat,_ Raphael wanted to yell but he held himself back from saying anything. Leonardo sighed hard feeling his stomach pull harshly. He seemed to know what his brother was thinking even without words. Leonardo bit his lip in annoyance when his brother didn't move. He closed his eyes to rub the lids hard to get rid of the blurriness.

"Alright," he barked after an hour of neither of them moving. Forcing his legs under him, Leonardo pushed himself to his feet. He gained his footing and swallowed back a groan when the world shifted around him. His head hurt all the way down to the base of his neck but he elected to ignore it.

 _Compartmentalize the pain and move on._  He told himself as he stumbled over to the water and bread collecting dirt on the ground. Raphael glared at him at first before his eyes softened and heart sank.

Leonardo bent down to pick up the bread but stopped when he lost his balance and fell into the wall. Slower than normal but still quickly Raphael was up grabbing at his brother's arm. He slowly helped lower the older turtle to the floor after kicking away the rocks he knew would be uncomfortable. When they were both on the ground Raphael took the bread from his brother loose grasp and set it on the ground next to him. Leonardo relinquished the food willingly wanting to get the taunting things out of his sight then ran a hand over his sweaty face and shivered. He was so hot but he knew their cell was cold. Raphael held out the bottle of water then rolled his eyes when Leonardo just stared at it. He was able to drink water but Raphael needed water also, his muddled brain told him.

With a growl that surprised Leonardo, Raphael closed the bottle of water inside Leonardo's hand then grabbed at the bread. He pointed to the water then to Leonardo then gestured to the bread and jabbed at his chest with his thumb. He then sat back with a huff and bit into the bread tearing it from the small loaf with more force than necessary. Leonardo cracked the bottle open and poured some of the liquid into his mouth. He held back a whimper as the water, though warm, cooled his burning throat. He drank one mouthful, then two and three before he could feel his stomach bulge from the liquid. He was still so hungry but the water tricked his empty stomach and the stabs of hunger abided for the time being.

Raphael tore another chunk of bread from the loaf before letting his head fall back against the cold cement. Together they sat in silence.

* * *

"I'm sure they're looking for us, Raph. I know Donnie's got some device that tracks our blood or something and he's following it right now. We're just too far away is all so it's taking some time for them to find us…" Leonardo's voice was wispy and cracked. He honestly didn't know how long they had been in their cell. He couldn't tell the time anymore or count any days. He had suspected that whatever gave them light wasn't on any sort of schedule because it retreated quickly then came back just as fast. Not the sun.

"I wish Master Splinter was here," he said the thing that had been rattling around in his brain for a while. Even though he acted like an adult and pretended like he always knew what he was doing he still was really just a kid. Just a teenager. And he really, really wanted his father. "He would know what to do… I'm sure he'd make a plan." Leonardo stared off into the darkness.

"Master Splinter would probably find a way out of here… Maybe he should have made someone else the Leader, someone who could make better plans because now… right now I-I… I have no idea what I'm supposed to do."

With that Leonardo turned his head and cried but Raphael did not hear, he was asleep having not woken up while Leonardo spoke.

* * *

"Speak. Please Raph, just say something."

Raphael shook his head back and forth with sad eyes. Leonardo grabbed at either side of his head being careful not to touch the collar around his neck and shook his younger brother.

"I can't listen to myself talk anymore. Come on, just one word."

Raphael just stared at his brother, unwanted tears collecting in his brown eyes. He wouldn't hurt his brother intentionally. He wouldn't.

"All I hear is silence and my voice and it sounds so stupid but it's too loud. It's too damn loud!" Leonardo yelled into Raphael's face loudly. There were huge bags under Leonardo's blue eyes. They looked glassy and dull. The skin that stretched across his brother's face was pale with his cheek bones sunken in. There were wrinkles next to his eyes and on his pale forehead. The bones on his chin and cheeks were more pronounced than Raphael had ever see and his skin on his shoulders and chest looked too small for his shell. His entire body, now that Raphael was actually looking, looked too small for his plastron and shell with his arm muscles looking dilapidated. Leonardo's face was too sharp, his eyes taking on a haunted gleam. It was then that it truly occurred to Raphael that Leonardo was dying.

The red banded turtle took his brother's wrists gently and lowered them from the side of his head. Leonardo wavered, weak with hunger and starting to go a little inside from the silence. Raphael grabbed a hold of his brother and bent his knees to lower them both to the ground. Once there he collected his older but smaller brother in his arms and leaned against the wall with Leonardo's head tucked under his chin.

"I will not let us die in here," Leonardo whispered to the walls in front of him and Raphael nodded his head slightly knowing that there was nothing either of them could do.

* * *

A groan awoke Raphael with a start. For a moment he couldn't remember where he was. The stone was cold under his arm making him shiver and shake. He could tell that he was in a dark room with freezing, hard floors and that something was around his neck. Another groan sounded and Raphael gasped as it all came rushing back to him. The dart in his shoulder while running the roofs with Leonardo, waking up in this concrete cell with no memory of how they got there and no demands being made of either of them. The bands that wrapped around his throat and Leonardo's chest causing extreme pain whenever he spoke or Leonardo ate. They were captured. They were in Hell if Hell was a cold, damp dungeon with no food and stale air.

Again the groan sounded and Raphael moved off of his side recognizing Leonardo's pained noises. He crawled to his brother's side and knelt next to him placing a gentle hand on his forehead. Leonardo's skin was wet and clammy, his forehead just this side of too warm. If Raphael could he would have cursed.

"Hungry." Leonardo whispered with his eyes closed, Raphael just stared at him.

There was nothing he could do. He would give his brother the bread – consequences be damned – if he could but they had none. Not for a while yet would they be fed. Instead Raphael laid down next to his brother. Surprisingly Leonardo twisted until he was face to face with his brother then with eyes still closed he gently put his head on his shoulder. Leonardo scowled, his nose ruffled and he groaned again until the other turtle guided his head slowly under his chin and Leonardo sighed. He was half way on top of Raphael but the red turtle cared not. Leonardo shifted a few times to get comfortable and Raphael stayed still under him. He jumped slightly when his brother accidentally touched his collar and a small shock lit his system but otherwise stayed pliant.

"I'm sorry," Leonardo mumbled into his brother's chest some time later when the light was just starting to brighten the room. In the matter of a few minutes the entire cell would be lit.

Raphael peered down at his brother without moving.

 _Sorry for what?_ He wanted to ask but the sound of his brothers soft breathing told him Leonardo was already asleep. Raphael gripped his brother firmly and scrunched his body until he practically encased him. Leonardo shivered and mumbled something incoherent but otherwise stayed asleep. With cold fingers Raphael ran his hand up and down the older turtle's side being careful not to get close to the metal band that wrapped around his chest. There was colorful bruising around where the band was and that make Raphael shake with anger.

_We're going to get out of here. I promise Leo, I promise._

* * *

It was getting harder and harder to keep his eyes open. Leonardo lay back in the far corner of the cell facing the wall. It was dark. Cold. Miserable. He knew his entire body should hurt but he felt numb. It was the first time he had actually felt numb and it was a relief. For the first time in however long they had been captured Leonardo did not feel hungry. It scared him.

* * *

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," Leonardo whispered to his brother as they lay side by side in the darkness. Raphael jerked – or tried to. Any sudden movements made him dizzy. He looked at his brother who faced away from him. "I am so sorry I couldn't stop this from happening. I-I…" In the darkness Raphael could see tears escape from Leonardo's eyes and run down the side of his face.

 _No… No,_  Raphael forced himself up to his knees, his heart beating fast. Leonardo was not giving up. He was not giving up. Not after so much.  _No._

Grabbing his brother to face him, Raphael forced Leonardo to look him in the eyes. The older turtle's breath caught which made Raphael's heart jerk in his chest. He could barely remember that last time he had seen his brother cry, Splinter's death notwithstanding.

"I'm sorry," he choked going slack on Raphael. Raphael grabbed at him and shook him hard wanting so bad to yell, to scream. To do  _anything_! He tried to talk with his eyes to make his brother see that now was not the time to give up.  _No_.  _Never_.

 _You did protect me, damnit! Every day you protect me and Donnie and Mikey. Fuck, Leo, don't do this,_  he screamed in his head with his mouth half open. He couldn't speak, he wouldn't hurt his brother more but shit, he wanted to scream and yell and shake his skinny, malnourished brother.

 _This isn't your fault,_ above all else that was what he wanted to say. He needed to tell his brother that this was not his fault, never his fault. Sometimes Raphael got angry and blamed his brother for all the bad that has befallen them but this, this wasn't his fault.

Leonardo opened his eyes when Raphael shook him hard enough to click his teeth together. He wasn't hungry, he was still numb but it didn't scare him anymore. He felt content. The only thing he wished was that Raphael didn't have to see him like this, dying. He didn't want to die in his brothers arms. He didn't want to die in anyone's arms. When he was younger, ever since the day Splinter had named him leader he had had visions of dying with honor on the battlefield against an enemy he could see. Nowhere in his plans was there concrete cages or metal bands involved. Nowhere was there silence or hunger or wasting away to nothing. He didn't want his brother to get hurt, he didn't want his younger brother to die.

But… he just could do this anymore. He could barely move. He was numb. Too weak to even move his head.

Somewhere far off there was a crash that Raphael ignored, against his will tears crept down his face as he saw Leonardo's eyes begging to close. His brother was so light in his arms it made his body shake with guilt and anger and sadness.

 _No… No, please big brother, don't…_ Something broken and hurt escaped Raphael's mouth. It sounded loud in his ears but he knew when Leonardo's chest band didn't move that he must've just imagined it. Just like he imagined the light on the band going from a light green to off.

He wanted to scream and to cry and to curse anything and everything. He wanted spit to fly from his mouth as he roared at his brother to stay, to fight.

 _Stay, stay please. Please! I love you Leo, I fucking love you please don't go. No._ NO _!_

Leonardo shakily brought his hand up to Raphael's face one last time with a small smile gracing his lips in a sad outline of his usual toothy grin. Then is head listed to the side, the smile fading slowly from his mouth and Raphael held him close and sobbed.

_No, please, please, please. No. You can't fucking die you asshole. You can't leave me here alone!_

In the distance there was another crash, louder this time with the sound of screaming accompanying soon after.

* * *

Lights flashed, someone yelled a name that Raphael thought sounded like his but he wasn't sure. There was movement as someone or multiple someone's dropped down into their cell. Instinctively he held Leonardo's body closer to his chest. These were their captors and they were coming to collect his brother. Well, they couldn't have him. He would never let them have his brother. They would have to kill him first.

More lights flashed until one light blinked on and they were blanketed in light so bright it burned Raphael's eyes. He growled in warning when the figures got closer to him.

 _Try it you bastards. Try taking him I swear to god I'll kill you_ , Raphael bent further encasing his brother in his arms.

"Raph… Raph it's me…It's Don," The voice of the blurry figure closest to him said softly near his ear. The voice sounded like Donatello but it couldn't be. Donatello couldn't have gotten caught too, he wouldn't let himself believe it. A hand landed on his shoulder lightly that made the red turtle jerk around with a growl and an insult he wasn't allowed to say fresh on his lips, but he stopped when he saw the green skin and purple bandanna of his brother knelt next to him. Raphael shook his head because no, no he couldn't have been captured too. They couldn't go through this again. Tears ran down his face, he couldn't lose another brother.

Donatello moved closer when Raphael swayed dangerously to the side. He looked down to look at Leonardo held tight in his arms and gasped. Their brother was a sickly grey-green with pronounced cheekbones and a horribly cracked shell around where that strange metal band was on his chest and shell. The cell was dirty and smelled of sweat and urine. What had happened to his brothers?

"Hey there big guy," Donatello said gently grabbing his brother and turning around to the people behind him. April came running over to the side of Raphael while Michelangelo took to Donatello's other side. Casey stayed by the opening with a rope ready to help pull everyone out of the cell when needed.

Donatello went to grab for the collar around Raphael's neck but Raphael was too fast for him even in his extremely weakened state. He smacked his hand away with fear shining in his eyes. Donatello shook his head.

"It's disabled. I disabled it." He assured before reaching forward to touch the collar. Raphael swallowed loudly and closed his eyes with his neck taunt waiting to be shocked. Donatello bent forward fitting something into the side of the device. With a pop and a click it came off. Raphael stared at the device on the ground in shock.

"Don, we have to get out of here," April called while she looks over Leonardo. "He's in bad shape." She finished to which Donatello nodded. After speaking to Michelangelo for a moment the purple turtle turned away from Raphael and Michelangelo came into his line of sight. Michelangelo knelt close to Raphael with a fake smile plastered on his face.

"Ready to ride the Mikester Express?" There were large bags under his puffy eyes. Raphael wanted to yell that he could walk by himself when Michelangelo bent down to pick him up but he stayed quiet. After not talking for so long he found that he didn't want to speak. Slowly, carefully, his little brother picked him up and guided him over to Casey who was waiting at the opening to their cell. The edges of Raphael's vison started to darken as they got closer to the tall man above them. Before he could let himself fall into unconsciousness he looked back at Donatello and April who were looking over Leonardo. Raphael felt his heart flutter as he looked and saw Leonardo's eyes open slightly and his older brother nod faintly to whatever Donatello had just asked.

Then, everything went black.

* * *

Raphael wasn't sure how long it was later but the next time he opened his eyes he could feel himself moving gently back and forth. He could see what looked like the roof of the Battle Shell above him and could hear the wonderful sounds of his brothers soft whispers a few feet away. Donatello looked over from where he was just finishing hooking up Leonardo to another machine to give him fluids when he saw Raphael's eyes open and staring at him.

"We got you two out. We're on our way to the farmhouse now. I have all the medical equipment that we'll need but for now I think the two of you need to rest." With that Donatello touched his head lightly and moved up to the front of the large van. Raphael had so many questions. How did they find them? Where were they? Why were they caught in the first place? Who was responsible for this? Why did it take them so long to be found? What took you guys so long…? But again, he stayed silent.

April sat a few feet away discreetly looking at the two turtles over her book. It had been over three hours since they'd found the guys and while neither of them were in good shape between her and Donatello they would fix them up. Everything would be okay.

Raphael looked over at Leonardo with drooping eyes. He was close enough to put his hand out to brush the side of his brother's arm. He did that once then twice until Leonardo's eyes fluttered open. Raphael's eyes went soft as he watched his brother slowly climb back to consciousness.

"We're going home, bro… It's going to be okay," Raphael croaked roughly feeling the harsh pull on underused vocal cords. He stared at Leonardo when he didn't move. His brother finally turned his head to look at him a few minutes later when Raphael brushed his hand against his shoulder once more.

A small smile, smaller than Raphael had ever seen slowly crept across Leonardo's face. He slowly moved his hand towards Raphael who took it and held tight.

"Home," Leonardo repeated in a whisper staring at his younger brother.


End file.
